Terror Comes to Planet Pepe Squared

So there I was, enjoying a beatiful early fall day and amiably strolling through the Crucible of the Idiocies [Harvard Square], thinking uncharacteristically gentle thinkery and bearing no arms that would confuse me with the Montana Militia, utterly oblivious to the Fates having decreed that I would be guilty of spreading terror to not one, not two, but three, count 'em, as three as a monte of cards, three earnest acolytes of the Cult of Obama. It seems, ya see, that today was Git Hectoring Harvard Square Strollers for Their Hussein Vote Because Who Knows What Unenlightened Minds Might Yet Exist in That Grazing Herd? Day. And each and every corner of that acadisneysque excuse for a "square", and some edges between, were manned by most manly women, and a few babes, doing their best Carrie Nation jihading for The One. So I've taken some cash out of the local branch of the Sovereign, and now aim for the Coop to check the marvelously erudite porno section, when a mature Pelosian wannabe smiles like....well, Pelosi.... and asks me if I've yet registered to vote, for Obama is relying on people like me. I was not enough of a gentleman to lie, so I told her I had registered and that--having been educated into Chicago ways-- John McCain was gonna git ma vote at least three times. She was not amused. In veritas, she looked stunned, then horrified [rather like photo] and, at the end, like it was a good thing for me that she was not bearing arms like a Sarah Palin. So, anyways, having had my fill of Harvard Porn and overpriced, inferior, and yet so Upper Crust, coffee; I left the Coop from the Franklin side and angled out to walk over to Brattle and gawk at comely gaggles of female asian touristas shamelessly snapping away at everything with an H or an aged brick. Only to be immediately met, by the theater that refuses to show "Tropical Thunder", another blockade of the Obamaclesians. This girl was pert, happy, and perky of tit. And not bad looking in that milkfed Wisconsin way which will not survive the four years of Granolating Pepeism Harvard is gonna inflict on her. Remembering to be more of a gentleman, and committing the lie of omission by leaving out the registration and three vote plan, I actually listened to a spiel, sans grimace, for over a minute, basked in the sweet crisp September air, thanked her very much for stating her views but that I had decided to vote for John McCain....... I must have been the first person she'd ever met in her college career to admit to voting for Pirate John. Pure Terror, in that Midwestern "Wow, I can't believe it!" version. [photo numero dos is in the ballpark, except she was more milkfed and cuter]. Leaving her in dismay, and feeling very much like a cad, I'd decided I'd enough of this shit and it was time to get to South Station and back to Little Brasilia [comely asian lasses lusting for Harvard be damned]. I'd almost made it to the plebian sanctuary of the T when I met a darkly sexy Jewess, or at least she looked and sounded like the kind of New York Jewess I find as sexy as they find my peasantry "offputting", fronting the last Obamite ramparts at the newstand blocking my way . Had I yet registered yet? Every vote for Obama was crucial. We're all in this together, Obama's the one, and can you believe that Palin? And on and on.... She was really sexy, too.... And then I did the stupid thing, and fessed up that I was gonna vote for McCain. It was really sad to see, ya know, that dreamy face cutely halfway between a kiss and a Seinfeldian sneer, melt into a contorted mess of political Terror. It seems she was a Virgin Maiden, and I was Nosferatu.... [photo numero tres is a fair facsimile thereof]
Moral of the Story. I'm gonna go back there next week, hope it's a new crew of ladies, and lie lie lie through my teeth. Who knows, playing the Baracky card could give me a chance of gitting some 1% of that Fabled Fidel Pudendera