I saw this some years ago, and had forgotten about it until reencountering it today on tammy bruce's website. I also have no idea if it was a genuine assignment or not.
"Rebecca [last name deleted] and Gary [last name deleted]
English 44A
Creative Writing
Prof Miller
In-class Assignment for Wednesday
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.
* * * * * *
[Rebecca] At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
[Gary] Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
[Rebecca]He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
[Gary]Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
[Rebecca]This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
[Gary] Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
[Rebecca]You total $*&.
[Gary]Stupid %&#$!. "
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Out of Brownsville, Tejas
Greater Mexico is an Imploding Universe, hence
Greater Matamoros is an Expanding Universe?
Why She Fights
Ah, the Crimea, the Black Sea, there's a spot of Earth a good Russian considers worth its weight in Georgian dead. You can see it in Putin's eyes, Georgie Deux. And the shining citadel on the hill is Sebastopol
The clowns are on parade
McCain got teary-eyed while discussing an experience with a guard during his experience as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. The guard, McCain said, drew a cross in the sand while he was praying on Christmas Day. "For a minute there, we were just two Christians worshipping together."
(...)
[Obama] also touched on same-sex marriage. When asked to define marriage, he told Warren, "It's a union between a man and a woman."
"For me as a Christian, it is a sacred union. God's in the mix," he said.
(...)
[Obama] also touched on same-sex marriage. When asked to define marriage, he told Warren, "It's a union between a man and a woman."
"For me as a Christian, it is a sacred union. God's in the mix," he said.
Hitchens on Mortality...
In his "Letters to a Young Contrarian," Hitchens paraphrased David Hume's outlook on mortality. Hume said he was comfortable with death, because he was nothing before he was born, and he would be nothing once mortality kicked in. Hume lived at least 3 times (perhaps 4 times) longer than was the norm for an 18th century Scotsman. In any case, Hitchens said Hume's words did not comfort him as they did Hume. Today, Hitchens is taking action.
Weight: the same, only slightly better distributed. Life expectancy: presumably somewhat increased, but who’s to say? Smile: no longer frightening to children. Hair and skin: looking less as if harvested from a battlefield cadaver. Nails: a credit to the male sex. Ennui, Weltschmerz, general bourgeois blues: more palpable and resulting from virtue rather than vice (which somehow makes them worse and harder to bear) but arguably less severe. Overall verdict: some of this you can try at home and some of it you certainly should.
Still, we have to ask ourselves, Is Hitchens concerned about mortality, or is he getting ready to move to Boulder, Colorado?
Weight: the same, only slightly better distributed. Life expectancy: presumably somewhat increased, but who’s to say? Smile: no longer frightening to children. Hair and skin: looking less as if harvested from a battlefield cadaver. Nails: a credit to the male sex. Ennui, Weltschmerz, general bourgeois blues: more palpable and resulting from virtue rather than vice (which somehow makes them worse and harder to bear) but arguably less severe. Overall verdict: some of this you can try at home and some of it you certainly should.
Still, we have to ask ourselves, Is Hitchens concerned about mortality, or is he getting ready to move to Boulder, Colorado?
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Hitch understandably lauds Wolfie...
...Iraq should pay for its own reconstruction. But, just before we all join hands on this obvious proposition, may we take a moment to apologize to Paul Wolfowitz? Of all the many slanders hurled at this advocate for Iraq's liberation, probably none was more gleefully bandied about than his congressional testimony that Iraq's recovery from decades of war and fascism could be self-financing. Now the opponents of the intervention are yelling that Iraq ought to be opening its bulging wallet right away.
Field Rations...
Every now and then I dangle visions of mft's culinary creations before FCP. Well, here's a little levity to all that: Taco John's tacos, some absolutely great hot and sour soup from the "China Garden," a Chinese family-owned restaurant in Belle Fourche, South Dakota, and a six pack of Moose Drool, Brown Ale (thank you Big Sky Brewery). So we have shitty hack-Tex-Mex, great Hot and Sour soup, and plenty of glorious beer. While I was waiting in the China Garden for my to-go order of soup, a couple Belle Fourche locals came in and said to the Chinese owner, "Ola!" There's quite the cultural confluence going on in this little town of 5,000.
Friday, August 15, 2008
This is when the story becomes worth mentioning
The review found that Mr. Edwards’s political action committee went to unusual lengths to make a final $14,000 payment to Ms. Hunter’s film company months after its contract with the committee had ended. The payment was issued while the committee was short on cash and could pay its bills only after receiving thousands of dollars from Mr. Edwards’s presidential campaign and donations from four people, including Mr. Baron’s wife.
Penn & Teller Shaft the Seer Suckers
This is a regular episode, so not short. But it is funny, and worth sitting through.
Mitt gets some help
"He is the most intellectually inconsistent politician in the history of politics," Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass. -- channeling JJ from his digs in Provincetown.
There we were...
...goin' toe to toe with the Russkies. About to start nukular combat... O Zbig, how small we thought you were.
Calling All Entomologists...
Can anyone identify this? I found it on the hood of the work truck this morning, and I thought I'd leave it alone because it looked as though it might prey on mosquitoes. It clung to the hood all the way to the gas station, and flew off not much longer. Interesting creature. Enjoy.
"Cheap Drinks, Lousy Food": see pic taken from Alzada, Montana...
Gentlemen,
I give you the hamlet that is Alzada, in Carter County, Montana. Or at least a pic (please click on the pic and take a look at the subtitles of the establishment) of one of the two local watering holes. See pic I snapped this afternoon of one local bar, and click on the wiki link for more: The business activity in Alzada today consists mainly of two bars, a mechanic shop, a gas station and a post office.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The Olympic Spirit- Terceiro
Poor Suzuki. I don't think he could hear the fat lady sing' seeing she was squashing him into the mat like that
No Shit? Who Woulda Thunk It.
Imagine that, Leftists out to crush freedom of speech and thought. Never could see that one coming. In other shocking news, champagne is drunk at Versailles while stinking peasants down pisswater.
Death to Mosquitoes...
The paradox continues: scorching heat keeps the mosquitoes down (a bit), but causes amazing fatigue in the field. Cooler temps allows the body to cool, but provides a neat atmosphere for mosquitoes to feed. Check out those little black dots in the photo, and rearview mirror. Those are the little disease-carrying bastards. No malaria gets up this way, but West Nile Virus has been reported in all the upper Plains states. The fun continues...
Kraut on Vlad
Is AI still saying it's all the US' fault for Kosovo or some such antidemocratic Jesus first, Pericles whatever nonsense? I know I could just read old posts and comments, but it seems so painful in the Roman heat after the Courmayeurian bliss.
An Ordered and Stately Progression
An excerpt from Peter Hammond's "Slavery, Terrorism & Islam: The Historical Roots and Contemporary Threat"
Islam as a System
Islam is not a religion nor is it a cult. It is a complete system. Islam has religious, legal, political, economic and military components. The religious component is a beard for all the other components.
Islamization occurs when there are sufficient Muslims in a country to agitate for their so-called “religious rights.”
When politically correct and culturally diverse societies agree to “the reasonable” Muslim demands for their
“religious rights,” they also get the other components under the table. Here’s how it works (percentages source CIA: The World Fact Book (2007).
As long as the Muslim population remains around 1% of any given country they will be regarded as a peace-loving minority and not as a threat to anyone. In fact, they may be featured in articles and films, stereotyped for their colorful uniqueness:
United States — Muslim 1.0%
Australia — Muslim 1.5%
Canada — Muslim 1.9%
China — Muslim 1%-2%
Italy — Muslim 1.5%
Norway — Muslim 1.8%
At 2% and 3% they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs:
Denmark — Muslim 2%
Germany — Muslim 3.7%
United Kingdom — Muslim 2.7%
Spain — Muslim 4%
Thailand — Muslim 4.6%
From 5% on they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. They will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature it on their shelves — along with threats for failure to comply.
France — Muslim 8%
Philippines — Muslim 5%
Sweden — Muslim 5%
Switzerland — Muslim 4.3%
The Netherlands — Muslim 5.5%
Trinidad & Tobago — Muslim 5.8%
At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islam is not to convert the world but to establish Sharia law over the entire world.
When Muslims reach 10% of the population, they will increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions (Paris — car burnings, etc.). Any non-Muslim action that offends Islam will result in uprisings and threats (Amsterdam — Mohammed cartoons).
Guyana — Muslim 10%
India — Muslim 13.4%
Israel — Muslim 16%
Kenya — Muslim 10%
Russia — Muslim 10-15%
After reaching 20% expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings and church and synagogue burning:
Ethiopia — Muslim 32.8%
At 40% you will find widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks and ongoing militia warfare:
Bosnia — Muslim 40%
Chad — Muslim 53.1%
Lebanon — Muslim 59.7%
From 60% you may expect unfettered persecution of non-believers and other religions, sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels:
Albania — Muslim 70%
Malaysia — Muslim 60.4%
Qatar — Muslim 77.5%
Sudan — Muslim 70%
After 80% expect State run ethnic cleansing and genocide:
Bangladesh — Muslim 83%
Egypt — Muslim 90%
Gaza — Muslim 98.7%
Indonesia — Muslim 86.1%
Iran — Muslim 98%
Iraq — Muslim 97%
Jordan — Muslim 92%
Morocco — Muslim 98.7%
Pakistan — Muslim 97%
Palestine — Muslim 99%
Syria — Muslim 90%
Tajikistan — Muslim 90%
Turkey — Muslim 99.8%
United Arab Emirates — Muslim 96%
100% will usher in the peace of “Dar-es-Salaam” — the Islamic House of Peace — there’s supposed to be peace because everybody is a Muslim:
Afghanistan — Muslim 100%
Saudi Arabia — Muslim 100%
Somalia — Muslim 100%
Yemen — Muslim 99.9%
Of course, that’s not the case. To satisfy their blood lust, Muslims then start killing each other for a variety of reasons.
Islam as a System
Islam is not a religion nor is it a cult. It is a complete system. Islam has religious, legal, political, economic and military components. The religious component is a beard for all the other components.
Islamization occurs when there are sufficient Muslims in a country to agitate for their so-called “religious rights.”
When politically correct and culturally diverse societies agree to “the reasonable” Muslim demands for their
“religious rights,” they also get the other components under the table. Here’s how it works (percentages source CIA: The World Fact Book (2007).
As long as the Muslim population remains around 1% of any given country they will be regarded as a peace-loving minority and not as a threat to anyone. In fact, they may be featured in articles and films, stereotyped for their colorful uniqueness:
United States — Muslim 1.0%
Australia — Muslim 1.5%
Canada — Muslim 1.9%
China — Muslim 1%-2%
Italy — Muslim 1.5%
Norway — Muslim 1.8%
At 2% and 3% they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs:
Denmark — Muslim 2%
Germany — Muslim 3.7%
United Kingdom — Muslim 2.7%
Spain — Muslim 4%
Thailand — Muslim 4.6%
From 5% on they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population. They will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims. They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature it on their shelves — along with threats for failure to comply.
France — Muslim 8%
Philippines — Muslim 5%
Sweden — Muslim 5%
Switzerland — Muslim 4.3%
The Netherlands — Muslim 5.5%
Trinidad & Tobago — Muslim 5.8%
At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islam is not to convert the world but to establish Sharia law over the entire world.
When Muslims reach 10% of the population, they will increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions (Paris — car burnings, etc.). Any non-Muslim action that offends Islam will result in uprisings and threats (Amsterdam — Mohammed cartoons).
Guyana — Muslim 10%
India — Muslim 13.4%
Israel — Muslim 16%
Kenya — Muslim 10%
Russia — Muslim 10-15%
After reaching 20% expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings and church and synagogue burning:
Ethiopia — Muslim 32.8%
At 40% you will find widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks and ongoing militia warfare:
Bosnia — Muslim 40%
Chad — Muslim 53.1%
Lebanon — Muslim 59.7%
From 60% you may expect unfettered persecution of non-believers and other religions, sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels:
Albania — Muslim 70%
Malaysia — Muslim 60.4%
Qatar — Muslim 77.5%
Sudan — Muslim 70%
After 80% expect State run ethnic cleansing and genocide:
Bangladesh — Muslim 83%
Egypt — Muslim 90%
Gaza — Muslim 98.7%
Indonesia — Muslim 86.1%
Iran — Muslim 98%
Iraq — Muslim 97%
Jordan — Muslim 92%
Morocco — Muslim 98.7%
Pakistan — Muslim 97%
Palestine — Muslim 99%
Syria — Muslim 90%
Tajikistan — Muslim 90%
Turkey — Muslim 99.8%
United Arab Emirates — Muslim 96%
100% will usher in the peace of “Dar-es-Salaam” — the Islamic House of Peace — there’s supposed to be peace because everybody is a Muslim:
Afghanistan — Muslim 100%
Saudi Arabia — Muslim 100%
Somalia — Muslim 100%
Yemen — Muslim 99.9%
Of course, that’s not the case. To satisfy their blood lust, Muslims then start killing each other for a variety of reasons.
AScholar's Quranic Argument for Murder
Remember the UNC graduate student who tried to kill all those fellow students with his car [a case promptly buried by Pepe's MSM Ministers of Truth]? He's just pled guilty to 11 counts of attempted first degree murder, and his "defense" is that Islam Militant knows its Islam and a Believer got's to do what a Believer is told to do. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but the word seems worth a thousand kufr dead
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Shootout in Sturgis: Hell's Ang[l]els and Stormy Seattle Police Detectives
The U.S. Census says Dakota and Montana Territory is not the frontier anymore, but I keep coming across evidence that suggests otherwise. Click on the link: a case in point. Anyone ever read Hunter Thompson's, Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga? Pretty good.
A dastardly neocon election ploy
Planet Pepe has a Grand Unified Theory of why Russia invaded Georgia. Yes, you guessed it: it's all the neocons' fault: Scheunemann is at the center of the neoconservative cabal that has come to dominate the Republican candidate's foreign policy stance in a replay of the run-up to the war against Iraq. These folks are always looking for a foreign enemy on which to base a new Cold War, and with the collapse of Saddam Hussein's regime, it was Putin's Russia that came increasingly to fit the bill. ... What is at work here is a neoconservative, self-fulfilling prophecy in which Russia is turned into an enemy that ramps up its largely reduced military, and Putin is cast as the new Joseph Stalin bogeyman, evoking images of the old Soviet Union.
Back to the USSR
"This is not 1968 and the invasion of Czechoslovakia where Russia can threaten a neighbour, occupy a capital, overthrow a government and get away with it. Things have changed." Really?
The joys
Two years ago, Ms. Moulton looked into buying more comprehensive coverage through the Washington State Health Insurance Pool, a state-financed program for high-risk patients. She found the premiums unaffordable, but noticed that the state offered subsidies to those with low incomes. As their debts and desperation multiplied, it occurred to Ms. Moulton that divorcing her husband of 17 years would make her eligible for the subsidized coverage.
“I felt like I had done this to us,” she said. “We had worked hard our entire lives, and if this was all the insurance we had, we could become homeless. I just said, ‘You know, we really need to sit down and talk about divorce.’ ”
“I felt like I had done this to us,” she said. “We had worked hard our entire lives, and if this was all the insurance we had, we could become homeless. I just said, ‘You know, we really need to sit down and talk about divorce.’ ”
If She's a Pill, it's Because a Pill is She
Eau de Stench, Lads, that's what she gets on the first day of Christmas.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Of goats and cucumbers
They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram. They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men. Joys of Planet Pepe.
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